Another joke...

[Tanadil]

What a husband!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A phone rings ...
One
guy picks up phone with a hands free speaker-function and begins to
talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's
only
$1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, .go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new
2005

models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .. The house I wanted last year
is
back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They
will
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It 's
really a
pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the lockerroom are staring at him
in

astonishment, mouths agape.. He smiles and ask:

"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
_________________
Tanadel Talonleaf - Great Grandchild of Tanadil Truecaller of EQ1---lvl 54 Ranja
Luthyien - lvl 23 cleric (wishes could be a Fury)
Anyone want a slice of /Pizza Click to enter and WIN!

[Kaerai]

_________________

[Tanadil]

Got a new one now....this one is funny.....



A college class was told that each student had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things:

(1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery.

There was only one A+ paper in the entire class.
Below is that short story:


Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it.
_________________
Tanadel Talonleaf - Great Grandchild of Tanadil Truecaller of EQ1---lvl 54 Ranja
Luthyien - lvl 23 cleric (wishes could be a Fury)
Anyone want a slice of /Pizza Click to enter and WIN!

[Tanadil]

More Jokes!



An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.

Please put your private part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my

private part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

asked Nurse Tracy.

"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."




AND



Let's see if I understand



how the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off

while slicing salami at work,



he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,



your family blames the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners,



you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,

you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my old, wrinkled butt is parked in front of this computer,



I want you to sue Bill Gates...okay
_________________
Tanadel Talonleaf - Great Grandchild of Tanadil Truecaller of EQ1---lvl 54 Ranja
Luthyien - lvl 23 cleric (wishes could be a Fury)
Anyone want a slice of /Pizza Click to enter and WIN!

[Sathak]

HUSBAND MART

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

And so a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband....

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think...what must be awaiting me further on?" So unto the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart. Get the hell out of here and have a nice day.
_________________
Formerly Lizarde/Miltorrus of <Epic Shadows> in EQ
Now wasting my time in WOW
Running the guild <Hugs> on Stormrage US

[Larinika]

LOL thats a good one. I think I bought my husband on.......wait i'd better not tell!!
_________________
Nicolett Lvl 56 Fury
Lvl 41 Provisioner
Larinika Lvl 21 Shadowknight

[Sathak]

Admit it, you ran into Tanadil after you left empty-handed.
_________________
Formerly Lizarde/Miltorrus of <Epic Shadows> in EQ
Now wasting my time in WOW
Running the guild <Hugs> on Stormrage US

[Tanadil]

YEAH! I WAS FLOOR 7!!!! THE ULTIMATE HUSBAND!


GOOD LOOKING, RICH, and FULL OF RICH BLONDE HAIR! with a side perq of blue eyes!
_________________
Tanadel Talonleaf - Great Grandchild of Tanadil Truecaller of EQ1---lvl 54 Ranja
Luthyien - lvl 23 cleric (wishes could be a Fury)
Anyone want a slice of /Pizza Click to enter and WIN!

[Renvik]

Likes kids... except when they poop on you...

[Tanadil]

_________________
Tanadel Talonleaf - Great Grandchild of Tanadil Truecaller of EQ1---lvl 54 Ranja
Luthyien - lvl 23 cleric (wishes could be a Fury)
Anyone want a slice of /Pizza Click to enter and WIN!

[Buchalter]

I sent the Husband-mart joke to a few friends 'cuz I thought it was so awesome... My [female] friend's response was:

"From my experience, that store only needs two or three levels at most, and the top floor will mostly be out of stock."

Touche!