Mike
Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 424
Location: Tennessee
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 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:50 am Post subject: Happy Birthday Sam. |
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Happy Birthday old man...here are some quotes I'm sure you have said recently and a little prayer for ya.
--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs
---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
--I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
--These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says "For Fast Relief".
- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
last but not least the famous "you know your getting older when" sayings...
- You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker. - You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. - You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." - You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs. - You look both ways before crossing a room. - You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity. - You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost. - You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up. - Your childhood toys are now in a museum. - Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion. - The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style. - All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color. - The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique. - You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. - Your back goes out more than you do. - You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. - You buy a compass for the dash of your car. - You are proud of your lawn mower. - Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws. - Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. - You sing along with the elevator music. - You would rather go to work than stay home sick. - You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. - You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. - You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. - You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. - Neighbors borrow your tools. - People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" - You have a dream about prunes. - You send money to PBS. - The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. - You take a metal detector to the beach. - You wear black socks with sandals. - You know what the word "equity" means. - You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. - Your ears are hairier than your head. - You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. - You get into a heated argument about pension plans. - You got cable for the weather channel. - You can go bowling without drinking. - You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. - Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. - You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. - Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. - Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. - Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep. - You look forward to a dull evening. - Your knees buckle and your belt won't. - You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. - You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions. - You don't remember when your wild oats turned to prunes and all bran. - You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart. - You don't remember being absent minded. - "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative. - Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. - Tying one on means fastening your Medic Alert bracelet.
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